Look out there is a thief about!

Image Credit - blog.makezine.com

Danger - there is a thief in our midst and it's likely you will know them well, a loved one, a child, a friend, a parent or a colleague? Your valuables are safe but your energy..............well that is under threat!

In my quest to embrace self acceptance this year, I find myself more aware of key areas that need some tweaking.  One of those key areas is protecting my energy.  Most of us in life want to give all of ourselves to everyone in our life.  We often, to our detriment, over commit our time and energy to everyone around us without thinking how this is affecting us.

Family and friends can end up treating us like emotional plug sockets.  They plug in, offload all their troubles and woes.  They then leave feeling better for having got everything off their chest and we are left utterly depleted and drained of all our energy.  More often than not, we are also left carrying around their pain, thinking about it, looking for solutions to put it right and in general hurting ourselves and our health by taking on the worries and fears of the world.

I heard a saying "A mother is only as happy as her unhappiest child" for a long time I thought that to be true.  However, young people are feeling their way through life just like we are.  They are learning, making mistakes, trying to establish their place in the world.  I have spent countless of sleepless nights worrying over my children's worries only to find that they have forgotten all about them and moved on to other things.

My mum is having a very difficult time adjusting to my dad going into care and with the relationship they have shared in the past.  She is angry with the world, she is nursing wounds that go back 55 years.  I only now realise that I can feel for her, love her and help her with practical thing like shopping, washing, ironing and doctors appointment.  I can not actually live her emotion.  When someone is so deep in their troubles, they are not always open to solutions or help.  I have developed a mantra to say over and over again "I really feel for you but I must not live this for you"

Learning to love your yourself gives you permission to protect your energy.  It is good to listen and it is good to be there for those we love but it is neither helpful or healthy for us to absorb their hurt and anger and make it our own.

Love and Blessings,

Jean Fisher-Taylor