The January Diet of Self Acceptance

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The month of January is galloping towards an end.  I sat with my list of New Year resolutions yesterday to review what I had chosen and to see if I was still on track.  To date, I am still on track.  I believe that my mindset this year is helping me to stay on track and to focus on the resolutions that are important to me.  I have however realised this month that it didn't matter when I chose to make changes, it didn't have to be dictated by a calendar event, I just needed to take control of what I felt to be important and to take ownership for  my own successes and goals.

My list in the past has always been very generic - lose weight, exercise more, spend less and save more.  Like a lot of people I would start a diet grudgingly on 2nd January every year, buy into a gym membership with a huge dollop of disgust, avoid shopping and feel slightly better that I had at least saved some money (ignoring the fact that I had wasted money on a membership for a gym that I hated).  I would then sabotage my diet as I didn't really believe I would stick to it anyway, give up the gym as it was a torturous past time, feel low and go and buy something unnecessary to cheer myself up and be angry that I was wasting money.  By the end of January I was beating myself up with a big stick and berating my failure to stick to a plan for a month.

This year feels different.  My main goal was to be kinder to myself, not to talk negatively about myself and to go on a diet of self acceptance.  This January has been a lovely month and I have not had the blues at all.  I have started to change my diet, this time from a place of love and acceptance and not from a place of self loathing and lack of belief in myself.  I do not feel deprived and do not feel the need to sabotage myself as I am being kinder and more gentle with myself.  I do not believe I will be happier or look better if I lose weight, I have chosen to be happy now and to feel good about my body now, therefore feeling at peace with my choices.


There are lots of articles written about New Year resolutions and why they are doomed to failure.  I really do believe that every second is an opportunity to change and if we would only grasp life with two hands then we will see more golden opportunities open up for us to change and evolve. 

 Whilst I was researching resolutions I came across the piece below from Lori Deschene  from Tiny Buddha - http://tinybuddha.com/blog/the-one-new-years-resolution-that-creates-lasting-change/  The whole article is worth reading.  If you have felt overwhelmed with making New Year resolutions or feeling guilty that your resolve has ran off screaming into the depths of beyond, have a read of what Lori says:

An Alternative to Resolutions

Maybe instead of trying to trim away all the symptoms of our dissatisfaction, we can accept that what we really want is happiness—and that true happiness comes and goes. We can never trap it like a butterfly in a jar.
No amount of medication or meditation can change the fact that we will sometimes get caught up in thoughts and emotions.
What we can do is work to improve the ratio of happy-to-unhappy moments. We can learn to identify when we’re spiraling and pull ourselves back with the things we enjoy and want to do in this world.
Instead of scolding ourselves for all the things we’re doing wrong and making long to-do lists to stop doing them, we can focus on doing the things that feel right to us.
This may sound familiar if you’ve read about positive psychology—I’m no posi-psy expert, and to my knowledge no one is since the industry is unregulated.
But it doesn’t take an expert to know it feels a lot better to choose to nurture positive moments than it does to berate myself for things I’ve done that might seem negative—all while plotting to give them all up when the clock strikes midnight.

4 Simple Steps to Increase Your Happiness Ratio

This is something I’ve been working on for years, so it comes from my personal experience. As I have worked to increase my levels of satisfaction, meaning, and happiness, I have given up a number of unhealthy habits, including smoking, overeating, and chronically dwelling and complaining.
That all required deliberate intention, but it was impossible until I addressed the underlying feelings. I still have some unhealthy habits, but I know releasing them starts with understanding why I turn to them.
Starting today, and every day, regardless of the calendar:
1. Recognize the places where you feel helpless—the housing situation, the job, the relationship, that sense of meaningless. Then plan to do something small to change that starting right now.  Acknowledge you have the power to do at least one small thing to empower yourself.
Don’t commit to major outcomes just yet. Just find the confidence and courage to take one small step knowing you’ll learn as you go where it’s heading. As you add up little successes, the bigger picture will become clearer. This isn’t major transformation over a night. It’s a small seed of change that can grow.
2. Identify the different events that lead to feelings that seem negative—talking to your downer cousin, overextending yourself at work, not getting enough sleep, drinking too much.
Whatever it is that generally leaves you with unhappy feelings, note it down. Work to reduce these, making a conscious effort to do them on one fewer day per week, then two, and then three. The key isn’t to completely cut out these things, but rather to minimize their occurrence.
3. Identify the things that create positive feelings—going to the park, painting, looking at photo albums, or singing. Whatever creates feel-good chemicals in your head, note them down and make a promise to yourself to integrate them into your day. As you feel your way through your joy, add to this. Learn the formula for your bliss.
Know that these moments of joy are a priority, and you deserve to receive them. When you’re fully immersed within a happy moment of your own choosing, you’re a lot less likely to get lost dwelling, obsessing, comparing, judging, and wishing you were better.
4. Stay mindful of the ratio.
If you’ve had an entire week that’s been overwhelming, dark, or negative, instead of getting down on yourself for falling that low, remind yourself only your kindness can pull you out. Tell yourself you deserve to restore a sense of balance—to maintain back a healthy ratio.
Then give yourself what you need. Take a personal day at work and take a day trip. Go to the park to relax and reflect. Remind yourself only you can let go of what’s been and come back to what can be.
It’s not about perfection or a complete release from all the causes of unhappiness. It’s about accepting that being human involves a little unhappiness—but how often it consumes us is up to us.
This might not be a lengthy list of unhealthy behaviors you can give up and how, or a long list of suggestions for adventure and excitement in 2011. But all those things mean nothing if you’re not in the right head space to release the bad and enjoy the good.
Resolve what you will this year, but know that happiness is the ultimate goal. It starts in daily choices, not lofty resolutions–on any day you decide to start.




You can choose change at any second of the day!
Love and Blessings,


Jean Fisher-Taylor x

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