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Someone once told me that there are only two certainties in life, "You are born and you die, everything else is a mystery" Life is constantly changing around us and sometimes it can be difficult to remain grounded when nothing remains certain. Change is good for us all as it helps us to evolve, move forward and learn. Learning to cope and accept that change is inevitable helps us to embrace it rather that resist it. As we all know "what we resist...persists"
I cam across a motivational speaker called Rachel Green who offers these tips on coping with change.
- Be willing to change. The world is moving rapidly. I suspect that never before in human history have our lives changed so quickly. So much so that the people who cope with change the best are those who will probably thrive and survive the easiest. I know of people who have lost their jobs because they've been unwilling to change. I know people whose relationships have broken down because they are unwilling to change. Be willing to change.
- Change little things. We are all creatures of habit. We buy the same colours, cars or clothes. We sit on the same chair. We drive home the same way each night. Try changing these small things. Wear a different colour. Put your watch on the opposite wrist. Take public transport to work. Get used to change.
- Tolerate the feelings. Change can produce feelings of discomfort. Learn to tolerate the discomfort. You don't have to give in to the feelings. For example, if you put your watch on the other wrist, and it irritates you, leave it there. Over time the irritation will probably go and you'll get used to it.
- Keep some things the same. When you're coping with big changes, keep some things the same. It might be that you still go to your favourite lunch bar, you keep your old car, you get up at the same time each morning. This can help you maintain a sense of security, control and stability during change.
- Be around positive people. It's hard to change when the people around you are all complaining about the changes. Spend time with the people who are supportive of the changes.
- Find out the reasons behind the changes. You may not want to change because you can't see a need to change. Find the people who are instigating or wanting the changes and discuss their reasons with them rather than pre-judging them or dismissing the change out of hand. However, see No 7.
- Accept change without knowing the reasons. Sometimes, particularly in the work situation, you may not know why a change is being implemented. When you ask the more senior people involved, they may not know either. Instead of filling with resentment, which can harm you, sometimes it can be better to get on with the change and accept you might never know.
- Understand the transition process. Change can induce a range of feelings in people. Even good changes, which you've chosen and you know are the right changes for you can result in anxiety or fear. These are a normal part of the change process. I can think of three major decisions I've taken in my life: getting married, emigrating to Australia and leaving a secure job I'd been in for 10 years. All of those decisions and changes resulted in anxiety. All the changes were right for me. All three changes were some of the best things I've ever done. Accept the emotions, tolerate them and move through them.
- Don't take change personally. When work changes are forced on you, such as redeployment, restructuring or redundancy, realise it is not likely to have anything to do with you. The decision has probably been made for economic reasons, policy changes or political manoeuvring and not because your work has not been valued. The people making the changes may not even know you! So have a slogan on your screensaver to remind you: "It's not personal. It's policy".
- Take charge of your own change management. There are organisations, managers and other people who impose change on others in a very poor way. As a client said to me recently, "whatever the best practice in change management is, our organisation is the opposite". Workers had not been consulted about changes, warned about changes or had the future explained to them. Don't let poor change management sweep you away. Take control of your own change management. Start writing a list of all the good things you've achieved in the past year on the job. Tell other people the good things they've done. Get together as a group to say goodbye to the good and bad sides of what is changing. Invent your own rituals. Just because other people don't manage it well, it doesn't have to stop you from managing it well.
Jean Fisher-Taylor xxx
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