Granny Buttons...!

Image Credit - histper.co.uk

Monday Mantra - "I release unhealthy,addictive and self sabotaging behaviours in my life"

I would like to introduce you to a lovely lady that is doing incredible work helping people to get over Chocolate Addiction!  If I were to attend a CA meeting, I would be sheepishly putting my hand up and saying "My name is Jean and I am a chocoholic!"  I crave chocolate when I am stressed, upset or angry.  I have secretly been envious of people who say that they lose their appetite when things get tough. When the going gets tough for me....I get going to Cadburys World!  Cut out the middle man and drop me in the next batch of Dairy Milk!  One of my favourite scenes in a comedy is in the Vicar of Dibley when Dawn French launches herself head first into a chocolate fountain.....brilliant!  My cupboards are full of tempting morsels and I am affectionately known as Granny Buttons as I always have milk buttons on hand for my grandson! Well, lets face it, Granny Carrot Sticks just isn't cute...!

Well Carrie Eddins is on a one woman crusade to help us overcome our addictions by running Chocolate Rehab.  I confess, when I heard the name I hoped to book myself in, thinking I would choose the Galaxy room. However, Chocolate Rehab is a programme to help examine the causes and recover from the affects of chocolate addictions. 

This is taken from Carrie's recent blog

Symptoms of Chocolate Addiction
Often I am asked: " Carrie, how do I know if I am addicted to chocolate and have a problem?"  This is the most common question that  I am asked. I feel that you know when you are addicted to chocolate and when you are ‘using’ it. So, here’s my mini guide to help those of you confirm what you already know, and those of you who are a little unsure to ‘validate,’ your addiction to chocolate! Of course, it might be that there are some of you who will be able to confirm that your chocolate consumption is all in balance which is absolutely wonderful too !!

More often than not, a chocoholic does not take their addiction to chocolate seriously, as chocolate is such a socially-acceptable addiction that it often goes unnoticed by observers and even by the chocoholics themselves! In order to take your addiction to chocolate seriously it is vital to look at the symptoms of first to see whether it is necessary or not for you to take further action.
To begin with, pull out your notebook or journal and ask yourself the following questions:
a) Do you ‘use’ chocolate to help you to feel better about yourself at least 80% of the time?
b) Do you ‘use’ chocolate as a way of avoiding dealing with issues that are in your life whatever they might be.
c) Do you ‘use’ chocolate as way of avoiding intimacy and sexual expression with yourself and your partner, or even a potential partner?
d) Do you ‘use’ chocolate nearly every time you are stressed?
e) Do you love chocolate more often than not than yourself?
f) Do you ‘use’ chocolate instead of facing up to dealing with your emotions?
g) Do you experience, at times, insatiable cravings for chocolate when find yourself unable to control your chocolate eating?
h) Do you experience times of the month when you chocolate is the only thing that will ease your pain?
i) Do you often find that after the initial rush from chocolate has died down, and you might feel quite sick, you still want more?
j) Do you often find that after the initial rush from chocolate has died down, and even with a sick feeling, you still want more?
k) Do you often eat chocolate in good times and in bad times, therefore you have so many reasons or excuses to bring out the chocolate that you are not really conscious of?
l) Are there many reasons why you eat chocolate so much, many of which you are not even conscious of?
m) Are you embarrassed about how much chocolate you actually eat and therefore secretive about how and when you eat it?
If you answer ‘yes’ to at least six or more of the above questions, it might help you to finally take your chocolate addiction symptoms seriously and look at overcoming your addiction to chocolate.

I am in the process this week of launching my Chocolate Rehab Coaching Programme, so if you would like to know more about it,  email me for more details: carrie@chocolaterehab.com. There is a selection of coaching on offer from one–2-one coaching, digital coaching to group coaching, for everyone’s purse:)
Remember, when it feels right go for it, as I am a firm believer in the phrase: ‘when you resonate you accumulate,’ and this happens when you feel right working with someone, to coaching with someone to well anything!
I trust you will find that right way for you to overcome your addiction to chocolate, and this might be me and it might not be. Either way, I wish you every success in overcoming your addiction to chocolate and allowing 2011 to be your happiest year to date!
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As this is my year of self acceptance, I accept that I like chocolate a little too much to remain totally healthy!  Therefore I am using my mantra above to change my mind set, I may also be calling on Carrie for further advice if I fall off the wagon or is it the Wagon Wheel.....Maybe I need help sooner rather than later!!!

Check Carries website out if you would like more information (Miss R, this would benefit you enormously!)
http://chocolaterehab.com/

Love and Blessings,

Jean Fisher-Taylor x

Easy Chi-sy..!

Image Credit - masagatani.com

As winter is drawing to an end and spring is ready to be sprung, I am starting to think about spring cleaning and I have consulted my Feng Shui books to see what advice they offer.  I am ready to clear out the old and welcome the new in to my life, these are my findings on successfully clearing and decluttering.  Do one room at a time and ask yourself these questions before holding onto clutter-

Do I Love it?
Do I need it?
Is it essential?
Does in enhance my life?

Spring is the season of renewal, manifestation, celebration and falling in love. Now is the time to take those bold feng shui steps and go full-force into action to make your New Year's resolutions happen. Feng shui is here to help.

If you still feel sluggish and low-energy after a long and maybe challenging winter, here are some proven-and-true feng shui steps to lift your energy up. Spring cleaning and clutter clearing are the keywords and the goal is get rid of everything that does not serve you anymore. Make space for new, fresh feng shui energy to come into your life.

·         If you are striving to improve your health, get rid of all the items that are cluttering and blocking the energy flow in your kitchen (especially your cupboards and the freezer.) The state of your kitchen is the state of your health, so do yourself a favor and thoroughly clean that kitchen!

De-clutter the refrigerator; clean the stove and all the pots and pans. Let go of all harsh chemical kitchen cleaners and go for natural ones. Clean out all the drawers, surfaces, light fixtures, etc - create a fresh pathway for strong vibrant Chi to flow and nourish your energy.

. Bring three new pots with vibrant feng shui green plants to refresh the energy of your space and symbolize, as well as ground, the energy of new beginnings. If you plan to place them in the kitchen, go for lush and aromatic herbs, such as basil, rosemary or mint. Focus on your main entrance, as well as your kitchen, as both are strongly connected to your health.

·         If you would like to welcome a new love relationship into your life, make space, and I mean actual, physical space, for this new person to be in your home. Clear out your closets for a better flow and more space. You literally have to create an open flow of energy in your home to be able to attract and manifest more of what you are looking for.

·         Last but not least, be sure you understand the importance of space clearing and are comfortable with at least a simple feng shui space clearing session for your home. Better yet, make time to do a major space clearing session; now is the best time for it.

Clarify, purify and let go. Renew your space and renew your body. Step into a new way of being, fill it with a happy and healthy energy of excitement and creativity. Happy new and fresh beginnings, fun celebrations and precious memories to behold!

After you read the feng shui spring cleaning tips you might be thinking: "All well and good, but where do I actually start if I have no energy for it?"

It's true, the spring cleaning feng shui efforts might feel a bit of a catch-22 situation. In order to get more energy, you need to do spring cleaning. But in order to do the spring cleaning, you sure need a lot of energy!

Here is the best feng shui way to go. Start with this very easy feng shui clutter clearing sessions and do not go over 35-45 min. I am serious.

Allow yourself to start wherever you fee like it - it might be your closet, or maybe you bathroom vanity.

Go with the flow and see where there is most excitement for you. Yes, I did use the word excitement, as spring cleaning can be a lot of fun with just a tiny shift in your attitude.

After you have done several small spring cleaning sessions, go for a longer one, but again, do not over-do it. Finish cleaning while you still feel fresh and can look forward to the next session.

Another feng shui tip is to never ever start your spring cleaning efforts with the hardest task. Unless, of course, you are absolutely sure and confident you have the energy for it!

It is best to start in a gentle and easy way, with small spring cleaning sessions that bring visible results. This way your enjoyment, as well as your confidence grows, and yes, you might be looking forward for more and more spring cleaning and clutter clearing of your home.

Once you actually experience the feeling of lightness and freshness that comes after even small amounts of spring cleaning, the rest is easy.

Do not forget to support your energy with good feng shui energy props, be it music, fresh flowers or your favourite scent in an aromatherapy diffuser.

Treat yourself well by treating your home well, and everything else will fall into place.

Happy Spring Cleaning!

Love and Blessings

Jean Fisher-Taylor. x

Crystal Magic!

Image Credit - sacredbliss.co.uk

I came across this article and wanted to share it with you!  Crystals are known for their healing and soothing properties.  This article discusses the best crystals to use to increase self esteem and self acceptance.  A lovely friend of mine Kim told me that the best way for women to carry crystals is in their bras. For men, pockets would be fine for you unless of course you would like to fashion a rock holder out of a partners underwear!!  If ever we should meet in person and I rattle when we shake hands.......its the crystals in my bra! Oh and my unusal shaped breasts....they are my own!

Article Source - http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Colleen_Simmons

Self-Esteem, just what is it? Well it is the way we see ourselves for instance. Liking you for who you are. Knowing your strengths and also knowing that you are a worthy person.
Some of the things that we use to judge our self-esteem levels:
It is How you see your value as a person.
How you think others see you and how you feel about it.
Where you fit in and your purpose in life.
The type of job you do and how happy you are doing it.
Things that you have or have not achieved in your life.
How you see your potential for success.
Whether you can stand on your own two feet.
How independent you feel and are.
Low Self-Esteem is caused by all your negative and defeating emotions about yourself. Not Good Enough- No Self-Confidence-Unhappy etc.
High Self-Esteem is brought about by your positive feelings about yourself. Confident Happy and Sure of Yourself etc.
There is also another side to Self-Esteem and that is:
"Excessive Self-Esteem" this can show up as being Over-Confident-Superior Attitude- Bragging. Some recent studies have shown that Bullying may not be due to "Low Self-Esteem" as has been the long held reason, but to actually due to "Excessive Self-Esteem" being better than anyone else. (This is just some information that I have come across and if you or anyone you know of has ever suffered from low self-esteem it seems to make sense. Well it does to me).
There are some things that we can do to help us improve our Self-Esteem:
Forgive yourself when you make a mistake.
Be Proud and Happy about your strengths and achievements
Stop putting yourself down.
Don't feel guilty about what you think or feel are your weaknesses learn from them.
Stop judging yourself by unreasonable high standards. Not everyone is the same and that does not mean that you are not as good as the next person.
We bring Low Self-Esteem on ourselves mainly by devaluing our own worth and judging ourselves by others.
Here are a list of Healing Crystals that will help you with your Self-Esteem issues.

Moss Agate: Strengthens Positive Personal Traits, Improve Ego, Brings Emotional Balance, Allows you to see the beauty in all things.

Amazonite: Balance Emotions, Brings Positive Energy, Helps bring and keep Universal Love.

Citrine: Removes Negativity, Promotes Optimism, Balances the Emotions and provides for a Happy Disposition.

Hematite: Helps to Sort Things Out, Dissolves Negativity, Promotes Inner Happiness and helps to remove Self-Limiting Ideas.

Sodalite: Encourages Self-Esteem and Self-Trust, Brings Truth to our Emotions and provides Direction and Purpose.

You can wear the healing crystals or carry them on your person. Place them in your work or home environment. Remember to cleanse them from time to time (no need to clean Citrine as it is self Cleaning and if you use it with other healing crystals it will clean them as well.)You will know when you no longer need the crystals to help you heal.

Love and Blessings,

Jean Fisher-Taylor xxx

The Happiness Project

    
Inspiration comes from many sources.  Sometimes we can be inspired by one person who is making a difference in the world or we encounter a group of like minded individuals who have made it their life's mission to improve the lives of others.  I would like to introduce you to a group of people who have inspired me and continue to inspire me daily. 

Robert Holden, Avril Carson, Ben Renshaw and Ian Lynch are the team that make up the Happiness Project.  I attended a Coaching Happiness course for a week last year and had the time of my life.  The book Be Happy, written by Robert Holden is an overview of the eight week course Be Happy.  This book encourages you to dig deep and make self enquiry a regular practise.  You will discover things about yourself that you never knew.  I highly recommend this book if you get the chance to read it.

The Happiness Project

The Happiness Project became a household name in 1996 when the BBC broadcast a BBC QED documentary called How to be Happy. Five million viewers tuned in to watch three volunteers, Caroline, Dawn, and Keith, embark upon a unique 8–week happiness course, designed by Dr Robert Holden. Their progress was monitored each week by a team of independent psychologists and scientists. The results were remarkable. The scientists hailed the course as “a genuine fast-track to happiness.”

Caroline, Dawn, and Keith each made positive breakthroughs while on the course. Scientists continued to monitor their progress for six months after, and they concluded that, “The positive results were lasting.” How so? One reason may be that the scientists discovered the happiness course had changed the hard wiring of the brain. Professor Richard Davidson, from the University of Wisconsin-Madison, who measured the brain function of the volunteers over the course of eight weeks, concluded:

“This happiness training not only changes the way you feel;
it actually changes the way your brain functions.”

The How to be Happy documentary has since been shown in 16 countries to over 30 million viewers. Today, The Happiness Project is thriving. Each year we participate in a rich program of public workshops (including the 8-week happiness course), corporate consultancy (with brands like Dove and Virgin) media events, and ongoing research. Robert Holden, Ben Renshaw, Avril Carson, Ian Lynch and other members of the Happiness Project team continue to create new offerings—all of which you can read about at this website.

Click our portraits to read our profiles.

Robert Holden, Ph.D., is the Founder and Director of The Happiness Project and Success Intelligence. His innovative work on happiness and success has been featured on Oprah and in two major BBC TV documentaries, The Happiness Formula and How to Be Happy. Robert coaches leaders in the field of business, education, politics and health care. Notably, he has worked for Dove and the “Real Beauty Campaign,” and also for leading brands such as Virgin and The Body Shop. Robert is author of the best selling books: Happiness NOW!, Shift Happens!, and Success Intelligence. His new book, published in April 2009, is Be Happy. Visit www.robertholden.org for more information

I hope you take the time to look at their website http://www.happiness.co.uk/index.php and see their wonderful work for yourself!

 

Love and Blessings,

 

Jean Fisher-Taylor x

Tips - Less doing more being!

Image Credit - wizardnow.com

Following on from yesterday's Mantra "I am a human being not a human doing", I have put together a list of tips about just being at one with yourself followed by a short meditation.

Tips for less doing more being!

1. Begin to reduce non essential commitments
2. Say no to requests that sap your energy
3. Enjoy silence once in a while, no TV, no Ipod, no radio, just blissful silence
4. Step away from the computer, Facebook, Twitter, Email and the Internet will be still be there in 15  minutes.
5. Enjoy idle day dreaming and the art of fantasy, let your imagination run riot!
6. Schedule in down time in your diary every day.
7. For five minutes every day concentrate on your breathing, this can be done anywhere, even at work.
8. Set limits on the number of tasks you must complete daily.

Meditation

1. Sit quietly with your eyes closed and notice what you are experiencing. Don't judge it. Just for a moment, let go of the feeling of wanting a different experience, and pay attention to the Now.
2. Focus your attention inward and notice what you're feeling. What mood are you in? Resist the urge to judge your mood or change it. Is there a particular emotion you're feeling that you might not have been aware of a moment ago? Is there another emotion below that one, maybe subtler but still affecting how you feel?
3. Now focus your attention outward. What sounds and smells do you notice that you weren't aware of a moment ago? What sensations can you feel in your body that your mind has been filtering out until now? Focus on your big toe on your left foot or how it feels to sit in your chair. Now focus on the temperature of the air that you're breathing, the feeling in your chest as it expands and contracts, and the sound your breath makes.
Don't you feel more alive when you are present? Are you surprised by all of the things you noticed--inside and out--that you hadn't noticed before? These sensations were there all the time, only you weren't paying attention to them.

If you have any ideas of your own, please share them with me.  I am always open to suggestions and tips.

Love and Blessings,

Jean Fisher-Taylor

To be or to do......I know what I choose!

Hello and welcome to Monday Mantra!

I have been away for a few days with my lovely husband to Glasgow to visit family and meet the newest addition to the Taylor clan, a beautiful, healthy bundle of joy called Robbie.  I did wonder if my ovaries would start to twitch and my maternal ache would start.  However, I am pleased to report that I enjoyed all the pleasure of the cuddles and that fabulous new born smell without a brooding thought or inclination.  I am sure that I have laid to rest any thoughts about having any more children.  At the age of 43, I hear some of you cry "good thing too!!!!"  I will enjoy being a granny to the light of my life, Myles and I will be grateful to hand him back to his adoring mum when the going gets tough!

Back to a the subject in hand - Mantra!  Today I have chosen "I am a human being not a human doing!"

This is dear to my own heart at the moment as I need to remind myself to slow down, take time out and just be.  Over the past month, I have been taking on more and more tasks and spreading myself too thinly to the cost of my health and sanity.  Going away this weekend came at a perfect time and with a long car journey as a passenger, I took the opportunity to re-evaluate life and to choose the tasks that were important to me and I have been able to let some go without guilt.  I took time to day dream and visualise the future.  As a result, creative ideas and inspiration flowed and I arrived home with more energy and vitality than I have felt for a while.

Even if you have not got the time to escape for a weekend, at the very least give yourself a few hours to just be still and let yourself daydream and re-evaluate your routines.  You never know what ideas will present themselves and get your creative juices flowing!

Love and Blessings,

Jean Fisher-Taylor x

10 tips to giving good advice!

I came across this article about giving wise advice when asked.  I always want to say the right thing and leave the person feeling better but like everyone sometimes I get it wrong! I hope you enjoy this article by Tiny Buddha's  Maelina Frattaroli & Lori Deschene.

If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind” ~Buddha

Nothing appears to be going right. The worst part? No one gets it, even though they might claim to.

Even though you know this is all temporary–it always is–you feel the need to ask other people what you should do. If they say what you want to hear, you’re relieved. But it doesn’t usually work that way. In fact, oftentimes you’re more frustrated than you were before once they put their two cents in.

We’ve all been there before.

Think back real hard—what in particular helped or irked you about advice people gave you? Did they say you should have done something differently (which wasn’t very useful after the fact)?

Did they tell you to stop feeling sorry for yourself because other people have bigger problems? Did they offer some platitudes or cliche advice that sounded impossible to follow?

When friends have problems that seem incurable and never-ending, you can sense that hopelessness. And you want to fix it, which always seems so simple when you’re sitting on the outside. Oftentimes, you’re not sure what to say because you don’t feel qualified to give advice but you feel compelled to say something. But it always looks different when you’re inside the mess than it is when you’re standing on the sidelines.

And even if other people have much larger problems, we still dwell on our own because what matters, in that moment, is how we feel.

Sometimes, you just have to accept the fact that you can’t, at least not instantly, help someone when they’re in a fragile state. That’s OK. Most of the time when someone comes to you, they’re not expecting you to have all the answers or even talk.

They just want someone to lend an ear and be by their side through a difficult time.

Realizing this is key to delivering good advice. It isn’t always composed of words and answers. Here’s how you can be helpful to a person in their darkest of times:

1. Advise with permission.

When you care about someone, and think you know how to improve their situation, it’s tempting to play amateur psychiatrist–especially if you’ve been there before. If you’ve ever been on the couch-end of this scenario, you know it can be frustrating.

If you feel the need to offer unsolicited advice, ask them, “Do you want some ideas to improve the situation?” This way they have the option to say no; and they’ll likely give you more attention when they’ve agreed to take your help.

2. Give them a rant window.

Oftentimes when people ask for advice, what they really want is to rehash something they can’t get off their mind–something they’ve probably talked about repeatedly to lots of different people (maybe even anyone who’d listen).

The best way to be a friend is to enable both what they want to do and what they need to do. Want: tell the story repeatedly, as if they can change how they feel if they just talk about it enough. Need: work through it and let it go. Tell them you’re there to listen to everything they need to say. Once they’ve gotten all out, you’d love to help them move on.

3. Be honest.

If you don’t know how someone feels, you can’t truthfully say, “I know how you feel.” That’s OK. You can likely still empathize on some level. Let them know, gently, that you haven’t been there before, but you’ll try to put yourself in their shoes to help as best you can.

Also, don’t be afraid to let them know you don’t have anything to say. You can still be an ear, take some time to think about it, and then share your thoughts later.

4. Avoid judging.

When someone comes to you for help, odds are they already feel pretty vulnerable. They’re trusting you to hear them out without being judgmental or condescending.

Rather than beginning your advice with, “You should have,” or “Why didn’t you…?” realize what’s done is done, and focus on what they can do or change right now. Try something like, “It might help to consider….” Then, offer your support along the path.

5. Make it a collaboration.

It can feel gratifying to figure out what seems like the answer, and then deliver it in a sermon. It’s like being a good advice detective when you figure out exactly what someone should or can do–and you feel even better when you can put it all into words eloquently.

But this can also come off as superiority, which probably isn’t your intention. Try, “I don’t have all the answers, but I’d love to help you figure out what’s right for you.” Whenever you’ve talked for a few minutes, bring it back to them. “What are your thoughts about that?”

6. Offer long-term support.

Your sister doesn’t want just a list of ways to break up with her boyfriend; she wants help finding the courage to do it and get through it. Your friend doesn’t just want tips to switch careers; she wants support in making a scary but positive change.

It doesn’t matter so much that you have all the answers. More often that not, people know what’s right for them; they just want to feel validated and supported.

7. Don’t make promises.

Even if you’ve been there before, you can’t guarantee any specific outcome. Your friend could approach her boss exactly like you did for a raise, and end up being demoted–at which point she might blame you.

Keep expectations realistic by focusing on possibilities within the realm of uncertainty. If you tell your sister to take a risk, make sure she knows it is a risk. Help her weigh the possible outcomes, both positive and negative so she can decide if it’s worth the potential reward.

8. Recommend a read.

When you make the proactive decision to find answers for yourself, you feel both empowered and confident in your ability to make the right decision. You can help your friend feel that way by pointing him in the direction of a few books that will help him help himself.

He’ll feel much better himself after gaining a new insight through reading than he will after sitting through a lecture. Start by saying, “I came across something that might help put things in perspective…”

9. Say it from the heart.

Another option is to be there with kindness instead of words. This is a good approach if you’ve already offered advice on the problem, and realize not much you say will help.

Leave a hand-written “thinking of you” card in that person’s mailbox or mail them a package with some sweet treats and light reads. Sometimes people just need to remember their problem isn’t the end of the world, and there are lots of other good things in their life.

10. Make plans.

You’re not the go-to guru for all answers–and you don’t have to be–but you have the power to make other things happen.

Plan a fun weekend getaway or day trip (for the budget-conscious) with your friend. Set the date in stone and make an unforgettable memory. People often find answers for themselves when they get away, let themselves relax, and clear their head for a while.

–

You don’t always have to have the right words. Actions speak louder, anyway. But if you do have something to say, know how you say it can make a world of difference.

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend, I am away this weekend so more blog posts from Monday!

Love and Blessings,

Jean Fisher-Taylor